Nostalgic Childhood

Every time I go in the Spar on the corner I have to buy a drumstick. It has become one of those day to day traditions that perhaps is getting slightly out of hand. I have no reasoning behind buying them, all I can think is that it is almost a gateway to my inner child. It's on par with midnight feasts, jumping in puddles and climbing trees. I just can't let go of this weird nostalgic kick I get from doing these sorts of things.

I went to the park with my niece the other day and ended up on the monkey bars. She can't go on them because she's unable to reach but that didn't stop me. No, I was going to swing to my hearts content. I am not sure whether it was for personal gain or because I wanted to tell myself that deep down I hadn't grown up one bit. There's something incredibly liberating about dangling, legs in the air, swinging bar to bar in probably the most unattractive manner possible. Then came the stepping stones. I haven't stepped foot on a stepping stone since the time I fell face first into the pond and nearly knocked myself out. But it started me thinking, why do you need to grow up?

Obviously perhaps things you used to do when you were younger aren't as exciting or appealing as they used to be. The idea of gardening makes my fingernails tremble with fear and I much prefer spending an hour deciding which pepper is better value in tesco's than actually growing my own. There is, however, a huge part of me that craves the days when you could get away with anything. A huge toothless grin got me through accidentally sticking an ice-cream in someones face and a teary 'sorry mummy' got me out of trouble when I accidentally set the parking clock incorrectly and she got a parking fine. Those days seem to be a lifetime away, now I keep being told I have to be 'responsible'. Eurgh....but why? Why do I have to have enough money in my bank account to buy a new dress? Isn't that why credit cards were invented, because someone out there decided it was more fun to spend money that you don't have? And when it comes to careers my "When I grow up I want to be an astronaut" is increasingly becoming "Next year I'm a real grown up and it's looking increasingly like I'm going to become trapped in the world of offices, ties and old men".

Perhaps responsibility is something which comes with time? University is definitely a very comfy stepping stone into the adultworld. I love saying "I'm a student", it offers you a wall to hide behind. "I'm sorry madam your card has been declined"...."Oh it's ok I'm a student, my fees must have come out". There's so much less judgement, I love it. No wonder Van Wilder didn't want to leave university...

Until my next thought...

Hannah xx